Something Beautiful

If there ever were dreams that were lofty and noble, they were my dreams at the start
and the hopes of life's cares were the hopes that I harbored down deep in my heart
but my dreams turned to ashes, my castles all crumbled, my fortune turned to naught
but if you could use a vessel like me, I'll lay down my heart
He made something beautiful, something good, all my confusion...He understood
all I had to offer was brokenness and strife
but He made something beautiful of my life.
~Songs of Zion

Thank you Lord for being that missing piece. Filling that void in my life. My own pride was concerned with what I had in my mind to be right, instead of what was truly right. Lord please help me to remember who I am and how far your mercy and grace has taken me.

He Called

He called those things that be not, as if they already were. I read that in Genesis one day.
It made me think about how the Lord has a people in mind for a family. Although he knows everything he doesn't want any of us to perish. He sees all of us in a positive way.
He sees us at the finish line.
I am no one of consequence. But by his mercy and grace I have an opportunity to have eternal life. I'm glad he doesn't grade me on how I am now, but on the heart I have to be just like him.
He called those things that be not...as if they already were...
Thank you, Lord!

cracked

I'm sure at one time or another we have all felt like damages goods. I remember having a huge void in my life that nothing could fill. One friend of mine used to call it, "Broke, busted and disgusted".
Been there, but even talking about it didn't help.
Using quick fixes in my life didn't help either. Parties, music and most things that usually cheered me up just make me feel worse. I started to wonder if I was going crazy or something. You know, cracked. The cheese has slid off the cracker, elevator doesn't go to the top, couple cans short of a six pack.
That was about the time someone told me about Jesus. I thought, 'Your kidding, what would Jesus want with me? I'm a mess.' I'm not sure where I got the idea that I had to be put together to get serious about the Lord but that is what I thought. I heard about the scripture, a broken and a contrite spirit he will not despise. I also thought about how the full he will turn away empty but the empty he will fill with good things.

Cool.

I definitely felt empty. I suppose there is a chance for someone like me. If I can do it, anyone can....

Be Still

Being still and doing nothing are two very different things. I thought of the scripture 'be still and know that I am God'. Waiting on the Lord is still abiding in His will because in order to wait in someone we must serve them. I think if a waitress at a restaurant. Having a good spirit while serving the Lord and having full confidence and faith He will handle a situation that is out of our hands.
Looking for His in all situations.
I am thankful.
They that wait upon the Lord, they shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as an eagle. They shall walk and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Teach me Lord, to wait.

Great is the Lord

Great is the Lord

Greatly to be praised

in the city of our God

in the mountain of His Holiness

Beautiful for situation

The joy of the whole earth

is Mount Zion on the sides of the North

The city of the great King!

Got Guilt?

Having a guilty conscience seemed to be built in my DNA. Even as a kid there were things I simply 'couldn't' do.  My friends did certain things they knew they would get  in trouble for but I couldn't go along with the crowd...even if no one found out.
 It was my conscience.
When I decided to give my life to the Lord I felt relieved. He can forgive me for all my sins, too. That was huge for me.
I had read in the scriptures, "cleanse me from my secret faults". Wow.
There are things I do wrong I don't even know I have done wrong....
Like hurting someones feelings and they never said a word, or being careless or wreckless with what the Lord has given me.
Job prayed and sacrificed for his own family 'just in case' they had done any wrong doing.
Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace.

He'll Do It Again

"These 'friends' aren't working for me."

I suppose the type of vibe you give off is the types of people that surround your life sometimes.
When I fell ill with some conditions I was around a lot of individuals that had the same diagnosis I had. Fine and dandy but negativity was one of our outstanding features...
Armed the that defeatist attitude, I felt like I was simply existing.
A home made cupcake that no one wanted to eat.
It didn't help that my friends around me felt the same way. The only time my friends and I disagreed was when I tried to be positive.

Me: "Hey guys, at some point we have to pull ourselves up by our boot straps."
The friends: "First you have to have boots, though."
Me: "Awe, come on. Let's stop thinking about negative stuff."
The friends: "I not negative. I'm an optimist masquerading as a realist."
Me:"Is there anything happy you can think of?"
The friends: "Like what? Seriously. Why don't you go first."
Me: "How about we start out by saying, 'Good morning' or something?"
The friends: "Oh. Sure. Let's start out the day lying to each other. Great."

My friends weren't working for me. I couldn't change them but I could change myself and be around like minded people. It reminds me kind of like our own salvation. It's an individual walk and I was ready to start walking strong. Making a change in my thinking felt a bit awkward at first, but I knew all things were possible through God. Hope unseen is believing He can do something when I couldn't.
Thank you, Lord....for doing that thing you do again.

Fruit of the Spirit

I've often wondered how I would know if I am getting spiritually mature. The bible (kjv) talks about the fruit of the spirit.

Love

Joy

Peace

Longsuffereing

Goodness

Gentleness

Meekness

Faith

Temperance

There are scriptures relating to them in Galatians 5:22-23 and Ephesians 5:9.
I have often heard people call it fruits but it doesn't say 'fruits' in the scriptures. It's all one fruit apparently.
It got me to thinking how I am striving to be the best finished product I can be as far as the Lord is concerned. Fruit ripens best when its closest to the sun.
It's my desire to be close to the Son.
Like a tree planted by the rivers of the water I hope to bring forth that fruit in my season.
What a day that will be...

What The Bible Stands For

My husband told me that life comes with a manual. It made sense because God would want us to know which direction to go to follow Him. My husband has interesting ways of getting things across to me when I feel...well, a bit overwhelmed.
He asked me if I know what the bible stood for. I was about to give him some deep cerebral explanation when he stopped me.

B= Basic
I= Instructions
B= Before
L= Leaving
E= Earth

Thanks, Chris...

Depressed

"He's turned his life around. He used to be
depressed and miserable.

Now he's miserable and depressed."

 ~Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981

I used to think I had everything to make me happy. I really started to think something was wrong with me when I began to wonder if this was all to life there was. I didn't know a void in my life could be filled by truely seeking out the Lord. I mean, people told me that but I had to figure it out for myself.
Once I looked for Him and really meant it in my heart I realized I was establishing a relationship with Him.
Leaning on the Lord for me was now a sign of strength instead of weakness. Only He could fill the void I had, and once I submitted to that way of thinking I knew I couldn't change myself...but through His mercy and grace He began to change me.
Turning my life around was something I owe to Him.
At my job people call me,"'Happy Girl". I found this out much later. A coworker of mine asked me why I am always smiling. Quite frankly, I didn't realize I smiled that much.
"Why are you always smiling?" She asked me. "I don't see you sad or depressed."
"Really?" I said. "I just have anything to be depressed about I suppose."
My coworker rolled her eyes at me and laughed.
I have always thought as happiness and temperal. It comes and it goes. But a joy on the inside is something unmistakable wonderful. No one person gave it to me so no one person can take it away.
Maybe that's what all the smiling is about.
A joy in my salvation.

Saving the Universe.

 " My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."
 ~Douglas Adams

Jesus is the chief physician. I am so glad about that. And with all the knowledge we have about sickness and disease now a days there still is no cure for the common cold.
He is the doctor for those suffering, lonely and in need.....Before I found Him I spend a lot of time volunteering, delving in work or school and just being busy within myself.  I really didn't want to feel like something was missing.
But I did. I felt like a hollow shell, four day old newspaper...a homemade cupcake that nobody wanted to eat. You get the point, right?
I did so much for everyone else that I didn't take the time to figure out what was bothering me.
I was making good money at the time and on a quest to feed all homeless people....that or perhaps simply buy the world a Coke. I tried it for a year and found out soon enough that the world all didn't want a Coke. Some wanted Pepsi...or a Perrier.
I couldn't please everyone and I definitely wasn't happy. I found out it was me that needed healing before I could be a help to anyone. I'm so glad I have a vision about the truth.
Now nothing any doctor can say about what is going on in my body can upset me. I'm not in charge anyway. I can leave saving the universe up to Him....
Whew.....what a relief!

A Sweet Smelling Savor

Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen......
Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.
 ~Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

I was at work one day and feeling pretty good. Having practically no pain is such a blessing. I was in the staff room when I said, "Thank you Jesus, I really appreciate you." A co worker was standing there and I nearly jumped out of my skin when she spoke. "Who are you talking to?" She asked.
"Jesus," I smiled- panting somewhat, "I was just thanking Him for this wonderful day."
"You thank Him?"
"Sure."
"For a wonderful day?"
"Of course."
"Oh....I only call on Him when I am in trouble."
At first I laughed because I thought she was joking. She wasn't.
I don't know or pretend to understand everyone's relationship with the Lord. I am by no means perfect. In my own understanding and love for Jesus I wouldn't want Him to be a fair weather friend to me. I  look at the flowers and they appear to praise Him each morning. I consider it a privalege to praise Him-in all the seasons of my life. I want my prayers to be edifying and give off a sweet smelling savor to Him.
Lord, in my heart, I truly wish to be thankful to you in all situations and keep a good spririt. Even when the hour seems darkest you will still let me see the stars....

We Shall Overcome

"We shall overcome because the 

arc of the universe is long, 

but it bends towards Justice"

~MLK

Miracles

"He who does not believe in miracles is not a realist."

~ Anton Rupert, Rembrandt Group

I was reading in Hebrews how we have not an high priest that which can be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. (KJV)

The bible is inexhaustible unlike anything on earth. I was thinking about how thankful I am for Jesus and how I can call on him in all the seasons of my life. There has been so many times where he touched my mind and healed me. 

Each time I know it is a miracle because he does no small things, just lots of thing with great love.

The Lame Sacrifice

"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
~Doug Larson

Treating our body like a temple is a discipline in itself. I know that I would like to be as healthy as possible and it was pretty clear in reading the bible that the Jews just didn't eat everything they wanted. The Lord clearly made a distinction between clean and unclean animals in the Old Testament.
I the New Testament Paul said we could eat everything as long as it was done with thanksgiving (Excluding things given to idols, of course). Quite frankly, I don't think everyone had a free for all in eating, though. I can still see the disciples remaining disciplined in eating even for health reasons. Luke was a physician and probabally was prevy to a lot of knowlege for those times.
Why am I saying this? In my own walk to trying to be a good Christian I feel I have a responsibly to take care of the health that the Lord gave me. Health is a form of prosperity. When I feel well I can think clearly, take care of my husband, work and run the household much smoother.
When I feel eat well I can concentrate better on my reading and praying.
I don't ever want to my sacrifices to the Lord to be in vain or lame because I am unappreciative or willful.
Lord, help me to keep a pure heart in all situations...

Walk and Not Be Weary

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

In the scriptures, The Lord gave the people the land flowing with milk and honey but they still had to keep fighting for that land.
Perhaps if we had everything we ever wanted there will always be battles we must fight for to even keep what we have.
I am not one to take no for an answer. That can be good or bad. I have decided to use it for good when it comes to dealing with obstacles in my life that cause me to become negative and derail me from goals I wish to meet.
I would like to spend more time with my family, friends and eventually run again. The fatigue keeps getting the best of me until I did some research.
I found some shoes called Z Coil at a really great Sacramento store with excellent customer service. The gentleman who helped me, Gordon Miller spent over an hour with me…there are over 200 ways to adjust these shoes for comfort and stability. I felt a bit like The Princess and the Pea.
They were quite an investment but as soon as I put them on and walked around I nearly started crying.
No pain. None.
They are not exactly fashion forward but when something works it works.
I have been everywhere now. They are made for running and incidentally…so am I.
I do believe Mr. Churchill’s quote may be incomplete, though (with all due respect). The last line…until He answer’s you.
One a scale of one to 10…10!

Bullard Uniforms

819 Howe Ave

Sacramento, Ca 95825

1916-569-2874

www.bullarduniform.net

Questioning....

"We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way."
~Author Unknown

Running from trouble or unhappiness? There isn’t any place that far…..
All that running made me tired enough to slow down and make some decisions about what I was going to do next. I simply had to start organizing my life if I was going to think straight.

I never thought God minded questions much. After all, He knows all the answers, anyway. Perhaps it has a lot to do with the motive behind the questioning. Is it doubt, a lack of faith, or even unthankfulness?
My mother always checked me on my tone as a little girl. And when I think of how Esther prepared herself to go for a request before the King it really got me thinking.
She asked if she had found favor in his sight, if what had done anything good and pleasing. There was such a humility there.
For apostle Paul he was told, "My grace is sufficient."

So the same God, the one that speaks to Kings and Priests, He hears me. It's clear for now His Grace is sufficient.
So with great honor, I am content.